i feel like its all crumbling, breaking apart into something that i don't want it to be
please assure me that everything will be ok
that you'll be here
no matter
how silly,
how stupid,
how ignorant,
how dumb,
how fat,
how annoying,
how irritating,
how horrible
that i turn out to be.

everything's messed up and annoying me. too many things going on and they are often beyond my control that sometimes i feel like giving up and letting go. its always in my head that maybe im not meant to do the things that i do and maybe my purpose in life is to stay average. i hate being average. i hate it that sometimes i cant face the crowd and be brave, that sometimes i cant succeed in things that i choose to pursue. i hate it that i don't have any special talent or ability that i am proud of. but i guess, at least i have you. the one thing that make me smile and happy just be hearing your voice. you're there with me all the way, when im happy, messed up or drained. you're the best. i smaller than three you's. i have to work hard and pull my socks up because i want to make it happen.